


Grief

by jimlecavich1



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Bottom Alec Lightwood, Break Up, Crying Alec Lightwood, Depressed Alec Lightwood, Episode: s01e12 Malec, F/M, First Time, Happy Ending, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Insecure Magnus Bane, M/M, Misunderstandings, Sad Raphael Santiago, Top Magnus Bane, magnus is mean to alec but he doesn't mean it DON't attack me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-04-18 17:24:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14218050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jimlecavich1/pseuds/jimlecavich1
Summary: Before Alec's wedding, Magnus and he start a relationship.OrAlec chooses magnus





	1. Chapter 1

It wasn’t planned, he had no idea what he was doing. Alec snook out of the institute at near 3 am. He had a million thoughts running through his head, but one overpowered all. This need. All day, all night he thought about Magnus. He thought about the way he fiddled with his ear cuff when he was being sneaky or “Coy”.

 

He thought of his clothing and the way he flaunted it. But in reality the clothing didn’t make him beautiful, he made the clothing beautiful. He wasn’t flaunting the clothing he was flaunting his body. His clothing was just a small addition to the swagger. 

 

He neared Magnus’ building as he thought of the rings that complemented his perfectly painted nails, that were clipped evenly. Yet each finger had something that was different from the rest, which is something that Alec secretly adored. Alec stopped before opening the door to the building. He let himself calm down from the fast pace he was walking.

 

He let one last exhale cool his body as he opened the door. Alec heard the light buzz of jazz as he neared Magnus’ apartment. He let a million possibilities fill his head. Alec didn’t really understand what he was doing, he didn’t know what he wanted. He pushed his thoughts down and knocked on the door. Alec heard the music lower and footsteps. When Magnus opened the door he found it hard to breathe. Magnus was wearing plain clothing for a change. He was wearing regular black pants and a light silk shirt, paired with a loose necklace.

 

“Alexander,” Magnus said, Alec was in a daze.

 

Alec shook out of his daydream by the smirk on Magnus’ face. Alec suddenly felt like he was intruding. “Is...is this a bad time...I can come back if you’d like,” Magnus gave him a look that told him to stop talking. So he did.

 

Magnus opened the door wider letting Alec walk in. “So Alec what brings you…” Magnus was cut off by Alec smashing their lips together. They fought for dominance, Magnus winning in the end. He pushed Alec against the door kissing down his neck and pushing the bottom of his shirt up. Alec grabbed Magnus’ lower back, pulling him closer trying to get some friction. 

 

Magnus felt this and bit down on Alec’s neck. Alec let out a filthy moan and scratched a line on Magnus’ back. Alec pushed Magnus back a little, smiling, “Where is your bedroom.” Magnus smiled and grabbed his hand pulling him into a room. Alec let out a shaky breath as he entered the room. Magnus saw the nervous gesture and rested his hand on Alec’s face. “Don’t be nervous Alexander, you’re perfect,” He whispered as his hands lowered to Alec’s belt.

 

Magnus started to undo the belt but was stopped by Alec cupping his face. This soft act caught Magnus off guard and he stopped what he was doing to take a moment to stare into Alec’s eyes. They sat down on the bed kissing slowly. Magnus pulled off Alec’s shirt and was mesmerized.

 

He touched Alec’s chest to be stopped by Alec’s hand. Alec grabbed Magnus, they made eye contact as Alec led Magnus’ hand down back to his belt. As Magnus undid Alec’s pants Alec grabbed the bottom of Magnus’ shirt and pulled it off. Alec barely had time to admire his body due to Magnus pulling down his boxer/briefs.

 

Alec became very aware of Magnus’ eyes on such a private part of him, he slowly closed his legs. Magnus notices what he was doing and spread his legs. “Don’t hide from me Alexander, you are absolutely beautiful,” Magnus slid his hand down Alec’s thigh. Alec’s breath stuttered when he felt Magnus really, really touch him.

 

Magnus’ hand went from base to tip slowly with meaning. Alec looked down and tried not to cum at the sight. He let out a low breathy moan and shivered as Magnus laid down between his legs. Alec made eye contact with Magnus as he took the tip into his mouth and sucked it, slowly moving his head up and down.

 

Alec’s hands found their way to Magnus’ hair pulling slightly. Magnus whined as Alec’s hands pulled his hair. Alec wrapped his legs around Magnus’ shoulders and moaned at the nails that were dragged across his thigh. “Magnus...Need you,” Magnus pulled off of Alec with a ‘pop’ as Alec whimpered.

 

Magnus kissed Alec’s chest and looked up, into his eyes. Alec pulled Magnus closer kissing him deeply. He grabbed lube out of the nightstand and explained to Alec that he needs to  _ relax.  _ Magnus was about to prep Alec when he was stopped. “Can, you...take off your pants?” Alec said with a shy smile.

 

Magnus smiled and snapped his fingers causing them to disappear. Alec stopped to admire Magnus. Magnus was about the same length but a little less thick. Magnus looked up at Alec and smiled. Alec’s smile brightened knowing that Magnus was happy. Magnus lowered between his legs and kissed his thigh. Magnus slowly slid his finger in, stopping when Alec let out a moan of pain.

 

Magnus slid his hand through Alec’s hair to soothe him as he slowly added a second finger. The process was slow and painful, Alec didn’t feel pleasure until he was completely stretched. Magnus thrust 3 fingers in slowly and Alec let out a moan of pleasure. His breath hitched as Magnus rubbed his prostate and he found himself arching on his fingers. 

 

Alec whined when Magnus pulled out, he felt empty like he was missing something. Magnus alined his cock with Alec’s entrance and kissed Alec’s forehead. He slowly slid in as Alec whimpered loudly. The burn was distant as Magnus slid in pressing against his spot. Alec kissed Magnus, biting his lip harshly.

 

Alec kissed down Magnus’ neck whispering in his ear, “Fuck. Me.Magnus.” Then the passion takes over. Magus pulls out and slams into Alec making him yell out. Alec’s nails scratch into his back as his bruising pace speeds. Alec is the first to cum. He cums with a loud moan, embedding his nails in Magnus’ lower back. Magnus came hard in Alec, flopping down on him. When they come down from their highs Magnus backs upbringing Alec into a passionate kiss.


	2. amazing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misunderstandings...

Magnus was the one to wake up first. He looked down and saw Alec wrapped around his stomach. He took a moment to think, to really think. Was this just a one night stand for Alec? Did he plan on using him and then get Married to Lydia? Did he even care?

Alec started to stir and Magnus was getting angry and upset dreading the unknown. Alec opened his eyes and looked up at Magnus smiling, Magnus didn’t smile back. Alec sat up and covered himself with the blanket, “What’s wrong?” Magnus looked at him still not smiling, he leaned in and kissed him. 

When Magnus pulled back his poker face still remained. “What is your intentions with me, Alec, if you are still gonna marry Lydia then I don’t know why you would put me through this,” Magnus looked away from him and looked across the room. Alec was staring at him still, “Magnus, I don’t want to marry her.” Magnus’ eyes were teary, “But you are, aren't you. I just don't understand why you would give me false hope.”

Magnus got up and started to get dressed, Alec had no intention of Marrying Lydia, he was trying to make it clear that he wanted Magnus. Alec was panicking when Magnus left the room. He jumped up and quickly got dressed. Alec winched, he hadn’t realized how sore he was from last night until he stood up. He walked after Magnus, “Magnus please let me explain..” Magnus opened the door, he made it clear that if he didn’t leave by himself he was going to usher him out.

“Get out, now,” Alec looked at him, he was getting teary eyed. Everything is going wrong so fast, it went from 1 to 10 in minutes. Last night Magnus was so understanding of everything and now he won't even hear him out. “Magnus can you please just..” Magnus cut him off yelling, “Get the fuck out!” 

The yelled scared Alec a little he wasn't’ used to Magnus being loud. His face softened when he saw how upset Magnus was, “Alec, just please get out.” Alec walked over to Magnus, Magnus’ eyes stayed on the ground as Alec kissed his forehead and walked out of the door. Alec waited until the door shut to cry. 

He stopped when he got down a couple of steps because the tears blurred his vision. Loose tears flooded his cheeks as he walked into the institute, he didn’t really care at this point. As he walked his mother spotted him. Maryse started with, “Alec where have you...oh dear whats wrong?” Alec was led into her office and started to cry.

Contrary to most believe she was a loving mother, just a strict one. “Alec, what is it?” Alec pulled out of the embrace she had him in. “Mom...im gay,” He let out a loud sob and she pulled him back in. “I can’t change I'm sorry, I tr...tried to make you happy but I'm sorry,” She pulled away and rested her hand on Alec’s face.

“Honey you have made me happy, very happy its ok,” Alec sobbed harder and buried his face in her neck. His sobs slowed down and he pulled he looked up with sad eyes. She wiped his tears and pulled back. 

“I can’t marry her,” His voice had no emotion. Maryse looked at him with a sad smile,”I know, its ok.” Alec smiled a happy smile and thanked her. He was on his way back to Magnus’ when Izzy stopped him. “Where did you do last night?” Alec turned around and smiled at her. Izzy smiled wide, “Tell.Me.Everything,” Alec and Izzy walked to her room.

Alec stuttered excuses when she noticed his limp. “So what did you guys do?” Alec looked at the ground, thinking of everything, deciding not to tell his sister. “We just talked,” Izzy gave him a look. “So, was the sex any good?” Alec choked making Izzy laugh, “So was it?” Alec smiled, “It was amazing.”

Izzy giggled, “So what happened after?” Alec kind of forgot that he and Magnus had a fight. He had been so caught up in his emotions that he wasn’t thinking of Magnus. “Oh shit I have to go,” Izzy looked confused as Alec hurried out of her room. 

Alec ran, and ran, and ran. Giving himself a stamina rune as he reaches Magnus’ loft so he isn’t out of breathing. He practiced his speech as he made his way to Magnus. He knocked on the door twice, before Magnus opened. Alec thought Magnus would be upset, but Magnus looked great, absolutely fantastic.

“Magnus I wanted to…” Magnus shut him up with his finger,” Alec you can stop, I am not a toy for you. You can’t play with me, this isn’t a game. I don't like being messed with, what you are doing is starting to piss me off. Look, Alec, I don't need you, ok?”Magnus ended with a loud sigh like he finally got everything out.

Alec’s bottom lip trembled, “I just came here to tell you that I was sorry and that you were right...and I would never do that to you. And that I am not getting Married.” In the middle of Alec’s apology, he started to cry, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have bothered you.” He turned around but Magnus grabbed his arm, pulling him inside and shutting the door. 

He wrapped his arms around Alec and pulled him close. “I'm so sorry Alec, you just, I just, don't leave me,” Alec let a tear escaped holding Magnus tighter. He led Magnus on to the couch and they sat for a while. “I'm sorry I didn’t hear you out. It would have saved us a lot of trouble,” Alec kissed him and pulled him closer. “I told Izzy about us, in vague, very vague details,” Magnus laughed hugging him tighter.

**Author's Note:**

> Its gonna get good I swear, I hope.


End file.
